The Day Ranjeet Took the Omnibus (Backwards)

In my previous post, I introduced the classic sitcom Mind Your Language and its unforgettable character, Ali Nadim. If you thought that was fun, wait till you meet Ranjeet Singh, the most courteous English speaker who turns even a basic English sentence into a grand declaration.


His English takes you back to those early days of learning, when we believed ‘the more formal, the better’.

Today’s scene involves a bus ride, a misunderstanding about illness, and a mistaken claim of being in the British underground movement. Let’s go through it, line by line, and enjoy every word along the way.
Before we break it down, it’s worth watching the scene yourself. Here is the video.

“Thousand apologies for my lateness. The omnibus was going backwards.”

That’s Ranjeet, making his entrance with the kind of line you’d expect from a colonial-era gentleman, not a language student.

Ranjeet: “Thousand apologies for my lateness. The omnibus was going backwards.”
Mr. Brown: “I’m sure there must be a more logical explanation.”
Ranjeet: “It is the absolute truth! I was told to be taking a number 27 omnibus and I complied, but it went in a backward direction.”

Let’s unpack this gift of a sentence:

• “Thousand apologies”: When most of us mumble a sheepish “sorry,” Ranjeet arrives with a drumroll and “Thousand apologies”, like he’s late for the coronation and personally ruined the event.
  
• “Lateness”: A perfectly correct, but rarely used, abstract noun. Most people just say “I’m late.” Ranjeet, naturally, elevates it to “my lateness.”
• “Omnibus”: This is not a fancy new app. It’s the original word for bus, from the Latin omnibus — “for all.” Ranjeet isn’t wrong, he’s just… from 1820s.
• “And I complied”: Ranjeet doesn’t just follow directions, he complies. Like he’s obeying a royal order, not just catching a bus. Everyday errands, elevated to royal formality.
• “Backwards”: The bus wasn’t literally reversing. He means it was going the wrong way. But “backwards” sounds like he got on and it reversed all the way to Wales.

Mr. Brown: “I think you meant it was going the other way.”
Ranjeet: “That is the gist of what I am saying! A thousand apologies.”

Why say “Exactly!” when you can go full Shakespeare and announce, “That is the gist of what I am saying”, during a conversation about a bus.

“I cannot sit there! It is impossible. I am Sikh.”

Mr. Brown: “Perhaps you’d like to sit next to Ali, your countryman.”
Ranjeet: “I cannot sit there! It is impossible.”
Mr. Brown: “Why is it impossible?”
Ranjeet: “I am Sikh.”
Mr. Brown: “Oh dear… I hope it’s not contagious! Perhaps you could come back when you’re better?”
Ranjeet: “No, no, no! I’m not referring to my physical state of mind. My religion is Sikh.”

Mr. Brown hears “Sikh” as “sick” and responds with, “Hope it’s not contagious.” What makes this so funny is that Mr. Brown is treating Ranjeet’s religious identity like a sickness you could catch. There’s no ill will, just a miscommunication due to accent.

“I am a very important member of the British underground.”

Mr. Brown: “Good. What is your job?”
Ranjeet: “I am a very important member of the British underground.”
Mr. Brown: “The underground what?”
Ranjeet: “Just the underground. MIND THE DOORS!”
Mr. Brown: “Oh, that underground.”

This might be one of the best lines in the entire series.

• “British underground” can easily sound like Ranjeet is part of a hidden organization.
• But Ranjeet is talking about the London Tube — the subway.
• His “Mind the doors!” takes it to the next level. It’s the famous pre-recorded warning heard on the Tube. He delivers it like a man auditioning to be the official voice of London transport.

Just when it seemed Ranjeet might be a secret agent, Mr. Brown realises the truth and casually shrugs it off with, “Oh, that underground.”

Why It’s Brilliant

This isn’t just language going wrong. It’s language doing exactly what it was taught… and still going wrong:

• When you learn it in theory but use it in practice.
• You pronounce a word perfectly — but your listener hears something else.
• When “underground” means the Tube to you… but a secret mission to someone else.
  
  
  
  Ranjeet doesn’t mess up English, he delivers textbook lines in a world that doesn’t speak textbook English. He may not always land where he intends, but what a ride it is.
  

Final Thought

Next time someone sounds like a Shakespearean spy with excellent manners, don’t stop them.

Just enjoy the ride!

And MIND THE DOORS . This train is headed straight for Comedy Central.

A thousand thanks for reading,

Harleen