No grammar was harmed in the making of this article.
Indians speak English like nobody else, and I mean that as a compliment and a warning. We don’t just speak it; we give it a complete personality transplant. In Indian English, we “do pooja”, “pass time”, “give exams”, and “shift houses” like language is clay in our hands. What’s grammar? Just a suggestion. Prepositions? Purely decorative. And if someone is “having cold”, please don’t assume they’re enjoying an ice cream.
To understand how Indian English has evolved and why it’s so uniquely ours, check out this insightful article on BBC. Also, check out my Medium post here for more on its unique expressions.
Others speak English, but we’ve made it distinctly ours with our unique blend of masala. This post is a tribute to the English we didn’t just adopt, but spiced up to make it our own.
Read on, laugh-out-loud only, and don’t take tension.
1. “We fully enjoyed the movie.”
Humour: It’s only in Indian English that joy comes with a progress bar.
Half enjoyed? No!
Slightly enjoyed? Never!
It must be fully enjoyed — as if there’s a quota to meet before leaving the theatre.
Correct: “We really enjoyed the movie.”
2. “Time is there, we can go.”
Humour: Time is there. As if it’s sitting cross-legged on the sofa, sipping chai, waiting to be noticed.
Correct: “We have time, so we can go.”
3. “Tell me fast, yaar!”
Humour: This is what you whisper five minutes before the exam when your friend might know the syllabus and you definitely don’t.
Correct: “Please tell me quickly.”
4. “I’ll drop you till your hostel.”
Humour: In India, “I will drop you till your hostel” isn’t just a casual offer. It’s a full-service emotional package. It sounds like your friend is about to accompany you on a spiritual pilgrimage, not just a 10-minute scooty ride through campus lanes. The phrase defies grammar but radiates warmth, like most Indian English classics. You know they mean they’ll give you a lift and make sure you reach safely, probably with a lecture on how dangerous the world is after dark, and maybe even a pit stop for chai. It’s less about distance and more about friendship.
Correct: “I’ll drop you at your hostel.”
5. “I did a mistake.”
Humour: It sounds like you went out, found a mistake, and actively executed it, like a full-time job.
“Boss, I did a mistake today. Took half a day, some planning, but job well done.”
Correct: “I made a mistake.”
6. “Give it today itself.”
Humour: That “itself” gives the sentence an air of finality – like today and nothing beyond. It carries all the emotion of a deadline and a threat.
Ali Nadeem from Mind Your Language would’ve nodded in approval, pen in hand, ready to give it today itself — even if the homework was given just an hour ago.
Correct: “Be sure to give it today.”
7. “We are shifting house.”
Humour: This classic Indian English sentence has the power to confuse and amuse.
Say it out loud, and it sounds like you’re towing a duplex down the street.
A nosy aunty might ask, “Shifting house? How many trucks will you need to shift the house? Hope the foundation’s detachable.”
Let’s face it, “shifting” is for tectonic plates, car gears, and blame during family arguments—not for people moving apartments.
But here’s the twist:
When you hear the British say, “We’re moving house,” suddenly it sounds even worse.
Moving house? Are you picking it up like a giant cardboard box and walking it over to another street?
Shouldn’t both versions come with a warning:
“House may appear more mobile than it actually is.”
So yes, “shifting house” may be funny, but “moving house” is equally ridiculous when you zoom in on the literal meaning. The only reason Brits get away with it is because they’ve been saying it with a straight face and a cup of tea for generations.
Correct: “We’re moving house.”
8. “I’m having cold and fever.”
Humour: Having them like you’d have tea and samosa. “Would you like a cold to go with that fever?”
Correct: “I have a cold and a fever.”
9. “Don’t take tension.”
Humour: “Take tension” sounds like it’s being served on a plate. Shall I get you a side of anxiety with that?
Correct: “Don’t worry” or “Take it easy”
10. “He expired last year.”
Humour: Saying someone “expired” makes them sound like they’re on sale – “Hurry, last one left before the expiry date!”
Can we try a little more compassion in the vocabulary?
Correct: “He passed away last year.”
So Here We Are: Proudly Speaking First-Class Indian English
Indian English may be full of contradictions, but that’s what makes it ours. It’s part of our identity, our culture, and our sense of humor. Sure, sometimes we prepone meetings, shift houses, or express our confusion with “I have a doubt.” And honestly, that’s fine.
But let’s also remember that while we have the right to speak our version of English with pride, there are times, especially in global or professional contexts, when clear communication matters.
So, keep those “non-veg jokes” coming, prepone those meetings, and let the world marvel at how “First-Class” our English truly is.
And while that’s something to be proud of, let’s also remember that sometimes a little clarity goes a long way. At the end of the day, it’s all about striking a balance between expression and understanding.
What are some of your favorite Indian English expressions? Drop them in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts!”
Harleen
Excellent attempt.